Broken
Devastation
Pain
Depression
Loss
Grief
Strength
Fight
Determination
Healing
Renew
Trust
and
Love
As I sit here in my beautiful condo in downtown LA, you could think “Wow Cindy that is great. You get to live in downtown for a whole month. “
Yes, it is! And am looking forward to this dream-like opportunity, but, yes there is a “BUT.”
As much as I knew this was coming there is nothing more real than the present moment, the natural rising of emotions and the healing process that you CANT bypass. I am feeling shaken and displaced.
My body and my soul are demanding to process, and the minute the move was done it all came up.
It is tough to put into words something that is overwhelmingly emotional. It is a combination of exhaustion, seeing my boys sad, and me collapsing emotionally that has me feeling vulnerable and like I am living in a dream.
All these words come to mind because they have been part of my journey.
Broken-Family
I was devastated
In pain
Depressed
I grieved the loss.
I found my strength
I fought
I was determined to embrace my life
I healed
I renew myself.
I trusted God and his plan
And now LOVE
After the last thing “gone” (our physical home) all there is left is LOVE. The love that I have for my boys. No matter where our physical home is, home is where the Love is.
I am taking this as an opportunity to renew my love and commitment to my boys and myself. I find it incredibly powerful in feeling all the feelings that arise, I take it all in and feel the pain to the point where I find the contrast. It is where I find my power, my strength, my drive to create something different.
At the moment am not sure what that looks like. I have been too exhausted even to think, but I trust that the shift will come and I will again find my balance and my peace. For now, I am eternally grateful to my family, close friends, my career ( the beautiful ladies at PDI), and my boys these are the things that keep me being“me”.
I will build a new home where the foundation is LOVE and CONNECTION. The feeling of completeness and connection is what our new home will feel like. No matter where we move my boys will know that the physical structure is ever changing, but it is the connection and the LOVE that make a home. For now, I will trust the process and enjoy the day to day and let God do his thing. I will patiently be waiting for your next step.
Thank you, God, for taking me this far