Processing, processing and processing how life does what it does .
How EVERYTHING and I mean everything has a higher purpose. Can you imagine a life with conscious pain. Yes conscious pain.....
As I continue to dive deeper and deeper into my purpose the more aware I become of all my relationships. From a human perspective to a soul level.
How much I am learning to detach from my ego and seeing things with HIS eyes.
I want to tell you a story of SOUL LOVE.
No not romantic love SOUL LOVE.
How I went from LOCA, BRUJA, to DIOSA.
It was a Saturday night 8/17/2019 to be exact... I remember that night so clearly. I could feel the energy in the air. It was my weekend off and you know how I roll... I can feel my free spirit completed activated. Who knows what the night held for me. Anything was possible, who knew where I could land. But I love that feeling of feeling ALIVE and letting the night takes its own VIDA (life).
I did what every free woman does.. Got all dressed up, called up my friends to meet at our Saturday spot for dancing.
As I got ready to walk out my door I sent the picture to one of guys friends. We have been casually getting to know each other now for a few months via text and we sent pictures to each from to time to time as something fun to do. He was very much the same always on the go so we did this as “where you at now loco/loca?” kinda vibe.
To this point we hadn’t met in person due to the LOCOS (always on the go) aspect of our life.
This night spirit had another plan.....
He never had directly asked me to meet but this night his playful lets “dance tonight” comment met him with my impulsive yet so natural “ok” . I even surprised myself because this is not like me to decide to meet a “stranger” some what on a whim.
He had quite the drive so I decide to continue with my plans to go dancing while he arrived to meet me. Again spirit decided otherwise. The freeway at 11:30PM was a complete parking lot. I was determine to dance! So Stayed in traffic hoping it would clear. 30 minutes later I rolled my eyes and was like “OK!”
So at this point I decide to turn around drove back to meet Mr. Loco. By the time we met it was already Sunday 8/18.
The connection and the energy was undeniable . We talked for a few hours over beer. I was mind blowned how much he opened up in one night. The rest as you can imagine was MAGIC.
We kept on casually meeting for the remainder of the year. I call this my LOCA phase because it was always on a whim and spontaneous magical nights.
The RISE of the BRUJA...
It was late November and the weeks where filled with potential spontaneous nights to meet. Concerts and celebrations lined up. What I didn’t see coming was the sharp turn spirit was going to make in my life. From and 9-5 to BRUJA.
I got laid off the week before my birthday celebration, I was devastated and had a lot of emotions to process. He reach out as he would typically do. Spontaneously, it was my birthday weekend celebration and I told him “ I can no longer see you” I had so much shit to figure out. He was not my priority and we had that understanding so he respected my space.
He had a nack for timing. Looking back I now know it was not that but spirit. Spirit! Timing is everything
He reached out at the beginning of the year. At this point I was getting my feet wet and beginning to develop my BRUJA business.
Little did I know what the next 4 months where going to be.
The encounters continue....More and more magical. I can not make this up. The timing. The lessons we both needed. The Bruja in me just got more and more activated as I shared energy with him.
1/26/2020...Kobe death we where at the beach when we first found out the news, 2/22/2020, the first weekend of quarantine, 4/4 and our last weekend 8/8.
Quarantine came and our whole life changed. He had a screeching stop to his free spirit life. Traveling and spontaneous ways. I had my business and how I was going to yet pivot AGAIN.
He came every free weekend I had . I activated him on another level. So much was awaken in him.
So much so he took a 2 month break after spending a good 2 consistant months with me. I felt his soul was stirring, his soul was shaken, his soul needed to find its new truth.
During this time my magic and intuition got more and more powerful as I did my work. This gave me the ability to see with different eyes what was happening. My ego on the side. Bouncing back in forth from self worth to patience, to SOUL LOVE. I wanted more. Then I realize this was not about me. I was going to be ok. I took this on as a higher purpose relationship. Conscious pain. I didn’t come this far to deny of avoid some pain. I knew that if I continue it would hurt a little but that I had a higher calling. The soul does not feel pain only the ego. My soul accepted this mission. I slowly started to trust that I was going to be ok.
He started to assimilate my abilities and my magic. I could feel his fear of me. Because I am not someone to fool. However I knew how to navigate him. I knew how to work with his fear. I started to embody the HIGH PRIESTESS in me the Diosa!
The Diosa KNOWS!
After the 2 month break, I Felt the shift again. He was coming back. When he returned no questions where asked why he did what he “left”. I knew and trusted. It was magic again. This time a little deeper. The first encounter back was something I can not explained. It was just what it needed to be. He was ready for more magic. At this point he was use to my “weirdness” We continue to allow it to flow and then I knew!
I felt and I surrendered....
Did I want this to be something else? Of course the human in me wanted this magic to continue. I wanted for him to be ready for me. I wanted him to process quicker so that we could continue. I wanted him to be my partner.
However I knew that this last encounter was the end of my mission with him.
The healing that happened this weekend was beautiful, powerful and pure.
The ability to be able to detach from my ego wants and see another human as a soul and love him. Love his soul. It was not Cindy the woman wanting a partner It was Cindy the healer allowing him back into my space to finish the work. This was bigger than ME. This was spirit again working through me.
I battle as the days came for him to come see me. My ego was like NO, he not ready for you, he can not give you what you need emotionally at the moment. (Doesn’t mean he can not in the future), however there was something else telling me “you have to let me show you”. “You have to let me show you” (Spirit). You will not be robbed, you will receive what you need. My little heart was scared that I was going to be devastated again.
The days passed and spirit had him come on another important time in my spiritual growth. I got activated for my last and final level as a REIKI MASTER. This is a BIG DEAL!
Yes he was the first person that saw me after this magical moment in my life. I was completely filled with light and buzzing after my attunement.
Little did I know why I needed to be this activated. It was to complete his healing.
The days that followed where filled with me doing work on him. He was ready. He surrendered.
He slept, rested and continue to allow himself to receive. Receive light. This is not easy for a man.
His soul was ready.
I release him with grace and love, I release him with grace and love, I release him with grace and love... the mantra that ran my head during this time.
It has been one of the most beautiful surrenders I had. I don’t want to call it a break up. It was a surrender! Because it was the end of a cycle. He was brought to me by one of his past love ones. I got to connect with the spirit of his departed loved one. He was a huge instrument in his healing
His soul was ready.
Text from me:
“Hope you got home safely...
Know that I love you as a Soul and that I will always be here for you as a friend. My work with you is complete. We are done as a couple. You have a whole life ahead of you and I am happy for what’s to come for you if you continue to do the work. You deserve to be happy.
Amigos, Amigos, Amigos.”
“Gracias, You are an amazing humanbeing, wonderful parent, and a beautiful friend. Gracias por los lindos momentos. (Thank you for the beautiful moment) You are special to me”
EVERYTHING in this life has a cycle, a HIGHER PURPOSE!
No coincidences just magic!
Let the ego go and allow yourself to love at a SOUL level.
I love you LOCO, BRUJO, ROMANTICO