I Had a great week. Realizing it is important how I show up and developing the person I want to be. The only way, in my opinion, is doing the dirty work. Yes! Shedding the layer of the victim and wanting more than anything to evolve emotionally and spiritually has been one of the most fulfilling feelings to my soul. Spending that time with the father of my boys this week was a highlight in my growth. Being able to be present and show up as a friend was a test to my soul in my opinion. I know it in my bones that this divorce and the "suffering” is one of my biggest spiritual tests. It's like the Universe saying “bitch you think you are MRS. SPIRITUAL…. Let see how you deal with this.” Maybe the Universe doesn’t say “bitch” but I could have a sense of humor about it now LOL. Anyways back to the test. “You think you are an evolve human being lets see.” Forgiveness, acceptance, letting go, not feeling abandon by God, and TRUST. This is what comes to mind. Being able to sit in the same car for a significant amount of time and show up, with the best of my ability, as a loving presence is a GOOD feeling. Lots of people wonder why even try? Well, I feel it's the TRUE demonstration of forgiveness and acceptance. I chose not to be bitter, I chose not to blame, I chose not live in the past, and I chose a new way of viewing “divorce” People might think I am a doormat, but I feel differently. I chose to see that we were trying our best at the time and that for some reason he decide to go thru his kind of spiritual journey and emotional growth, and I was being pushed by the Universe to let him go so that I could soar! I chose to move on and enjoy my new life and not let circumstances determine my ability to keep on growing. I chose to create a different path for all of us thinking that we are suppose to hate each other for the rest of our lives. It is not about doing it for the kids it is about being at peace with myself and in turn, the children benefit from this. It wasn’t an automatic reaction it was a process that my ego had to suffer and suffer, but my soul knew that there is a different way. That little feeling eventually became big enough to let go of the “story”. The key word COMPASSION. Realizing that making him the monster was not helping anyone. He is not a monster he is a very soft person on the inside with many demons (we all have ours). Understanding his conditioning and beliefs and understanding mine as well was pretty much the equation for why we are not together. His fear + my fear = Divorce. At the moment running away was his alternative. Again I am passed that but wanted to explain in an easy way. At the present moment, I now feel at peace, and it is thru Compassion and my soul wanting to love and understand another human being rather than bitterness. It's a process, and I know that I will have days of full understanding and days where I might backtrack a bit. Point being I am proud of the work I have done. Much Love!The Mommy Goddess
I Had a great week. Realizing it is important how I show up and developing the person I want to be. The only way, in my opinion, is doing the dirty work. Yes! Shedding the layer of the victim and wanting more than anything to evolve emotionally and spiritually has been one of the most fulfilling feelings to my soul. Spending that time with the father of my boys this week was a highlight in my growth. Being able to be present and show up as a friend was a test to my soul in my opinion. I know it in my bones that this divorce and the "suffering” is one of my biggest spiritual tests. It's like the Universe saying “bitch you think you are MRS. SPIRITUAL…. Let see how you deal with this.” Maybe the Universe doesn’t say “bitch” but I could have a sense of humor about it now LOL. Anyways back to the test.
“You think you are an evolve human being lets see.” Forgiveness, acceptance, letting go, not feeling abandon by God, and TRUST. This is what comes to mind. Being able to sit in the same car for a significant amount of time and show up, with the best of my ability, as a loving presence is a GOOD feeling.
Lots of people wonder why even try? Well, I feel it's the TRUE demonstration of forgiveness and acceptance. I chose not to be bitter, I chose not to blame, I chose not live in the past, and I chose a new way of viewing “divorce” People might think I am a doormat, but I feel differently. I chose to see that we were trying our best at the time and that for some reason he decide to go thru his kind of spiritual journey and emotional growth, and I was being pushed by the Universe to let him go so that I could soar! I chose to move on and enjoy my new life and not let circumstances determine my ability to keep on growing. I chose to create a different path for all of us thinking that we are suppose to hate each other for the rest of our lives. It is not about doing it for the kids it is about being at peace with myself and in turn, the children benefit from this.
It wasn’t an automatic reaction it was a process that my ego had to suffer and suffer, but my soul knew that there is a different way. That little feeling eventually became big enough to let go of the “story”. The key word COMPASSION. Realizing that making him the monster was not helping anyone. He is not a monster he is a very soft person on the inside with many demons (we all have ours). Understanding his conditioning and beliefs and understanding mine as well was pretty much the equation for why we are not together. His fear + my fear = Divorce. At the moment running away was his alternative. Again I am passed that but wanted to explain in an easy way.
At the present moment, I now feel at peace, and it is thru Compassion and my soul wanting to love and understand another human being rather than bitterness. It's a process, and I know that I will have days of full understanding and days where I might backtrack a bit. Point being I am proud of the work I have done.
Much Love!
The Mommy Goddess