All I could say is that sometimes your heart has its own agenda. As much "damage" that has been done. I don't feel it was done intentionally. It was done unconsciously. It's was done by 2 very wounded fearful human beings all caused by the path that life has given us. Our past, our childhood conditioning, our very wounded minds brought us to where we are now. I been fighting the battle of how society sees this story going. The typical one where one must resent and never forgive the one that hurts us. I must say that I have try to live that way and it does not feel good. I can't promise that I will not feel or live in that space again. It's a day by day situation. For now I could say that it feels better to love from A far with nothing in return. Why You might ask? Why.... Because for now I would like to believe that when we know better we do better as Maya Angelou would say. We didn't know better. So we did the best we can. I know now that the bond, the time and space when we where together was sacred. It was unique and will never be recreated again. Growing up and becoming adults will never happen again. That unique time in our lives has given me the awareness and the permission to admit to my mind what my heart feels. It's ok to love someone that in not in your life anymore. It's ok. How could it not be ok, how could you dismiss the importance of the impact that we had on each other's life. It's ok. I might be wrong and I might change how I feel tomorrow but that is just part of being a human.