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Lessons and Fears

Life is like waves and spirals..

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The more I get out of the linear way of living the more life becomes a nonsensical beauty…

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We are approaching 6 months on the 3D plane, let me tell you the last six months have been nothing but linear.

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For me personally as I reflect back on the last 6 months I feel like I entered a portal. I opened something up, went on a deep journey that was not visible to the human eye but very much felt on a soul level.

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I started my year in Colombia 🇨🇴. It felt so right to start my year with my body and spirit in a foreign land. It was such a magical trip. The people that I met the healing and connections made. I left a piece of my heart in this land.

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In turn the land gave me something I can’t describe with words. I came back with a glow, peace, raw and open. My essence shiny and pure.

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The last 6 months felt like a vortex, a hurricane of many emotions all clashing.

Different aspects of my life about to come together.

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I now see that the last 6 month was about facing a lot of my fears that have been hidden by living the survival mentality. I didn’t know it 6 months a go but my soul needed to be so clear and strong so I can face what came up for me and have fresh eyes so that I would not lie to myself.

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I say this phrase a lot “hay niveles” there is levels. At plane sight I was “ok” this time the fears and lessons where on deeper soul level.

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My fear with abundance and providing for myself and family. This has been a huge one. It took me back to a core feeling from childhood. The one where I didn’t really have a home. And because needing to survive and my naivete I figure out how to be independent providing for myself. Then I married and built. I felt safe again. Boom it was taken away in an instant. I was back on survival again. I never realize how important it is to feel and KNOW of our capacity to create with intention, to calm my nervous system into believing that I am safe now. That I can and will create a beautiful life for my boys and I. This lesson was shown in such a way In the last past months. It's not what you think. I had to rest a lot because my old ways of manifesting “money” was always out of survival and need. I am learning that I will be ok because the energy I offer this world is powerful and sacred. I feel this will be a lesson that spirals 🌀 at the moment I am aware and I know and choose to trust my ability to create abundance and safety with a peaceful and joyful heart. “I chose to create abundance and joy with a ease and my authentic and unique gifts”

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Lesson 2: I See you Cindy...

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As I wrote that sentence ⬆ tears rolled down my face. I See you Cindy. You know how people say to you this and that “ you are amazing, you are magical, your energy is powerful”. I was shown this lesson in a very painful way. I was put in a situation with another human being that was full of fear, judgement, control, projection. I didn’t realize it then but this human being poison me. Being around that energy for a period of time got me physically and energetically sick. This is what Don Miguel Ruiz calls the disease of the world, the dream, domestication. I worked so hard to become and keep on becoming me however little did I know this encounter was going to pull me down. I am Still working through it because it took a lot of my life force. I now know that I needed to face this fear of SEEING my FORCE, My Magic, My Uniqueness. I had to have the ugly projection of a human that doesnt allow themselves to be free. I basically was sucked into that’s persons chaotic energy with themselves for me to appreciate me. It took me on a DEEP hermit mode within myself and as everyday passes I feel and understand my PRESENCE and I chose not to share it with everyone. I had to learn how to navigate and balance how much I do share my energy. I now know I don’t need to prove to anyone who I am. My job is to just BE ME! “ I AM POWRFUL, I AM UNIQUE AND I CAME TO SHARE MY LIGHT WITH SOULS THAT SEE ME” .

Lesson 3: LOVE

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I have a SMILE on my face as I type this. Love has always been my obsession in this life time. Love is in my opinion one of the biggest fears that humans have. It’s not because we are afraid of the actual energy of LOVE. It’s because we don’t understand the real meaning of love, we unfortunately have seen ”love“ from the filter of broken humans, from tv, from the consciousness of always desperately needing to find and want love. How horrible!!!! We given the power of love to someone or something outside of us. LOVE is ME, YOU, THIS EARTH those moment when you catch yourself smiling for the simple things, love is the moment when you realize and accept that you are part of this world! Love is accepting with gratitude your existence. Once you feel that at your core LOVE just wants to ooze out of your being because you desire this for other humans. Love is allowing yourself to be YOU. Once you can be free in this consciousness you can see LOVE everywhere. You no longer desire to find it with anyone. It changes your mind when it come to finding “the one”. The one is YOU. “ I am LOVE, I am full and complete, LOVE is inside me I attract all the expressions of Love the universe has for me!” .

Lesson Relationships:

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I shifted my mindset to one of power when it comes to relationships. I can’t believe that I am 40 single and extremely content with out feeling the need to find a partner. I see relationships like job/career. You start off with few skills, you manifest a relationship to build and grow your soul. just like a career the more skills you gain you get bigger assignments with equal rewards and equal soul growth. When you start to detach to the idea of happily ever after and start to FULLY love and live in the present you never lose! I was able to sit back and feel gratitude for all my past partners for being part of my Souls growth. I learn so much about myself as woman, a lover, a partner and even as mother Through my relationship. I think God is giving a break from relationship lesson because I learning more about myself. I am in a place where am not afraid to manifest a partnership because I know I have plenty of tools to navigate but maybe for now I am on a relationship vacation and let me tell you I am loving only having to navigate myself. To be in this space is freeing and wow I can’t believe for the first time in my life I don’t have the need to

be validated by a partner. “ I co-create beautiful connections with all humans being you bring to me, I see they are reflections of all part of me and I gracefully dance with their souls”

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Yes all this in 6 months like I said it was not visible to the eye. I needed to go to Colombia 6 months ago to come back with the strength of the purity and strength of my soul to learn these lessons. Hay niveles ( there are levels) I feel these are the lessons that come through after years of healing my trauma, years of being in survival. The lessons that elevate my consciousness, they are potent yet subtle. The lesson become more and more precise. We start out with a big wide blury spiral then the spiral evolve to become very define.

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6 month later I am being place back to where I entered this portal/vortex of lessons. .

Coincidence, well we know that it’s not! .

I woke up early last week with this urge this pull deep in my Soul. I must go to Colombia. I didn‘t know why I just knew I need to go. Then I saw it all. The vortex/portal I walked into 6 month ago, the lessons and now am ready to walk out the other side. This all happen near the new moon in January and realizing that today is also a new moon. .

I am grateful for these lesson, the ability to share with you a piece of my mind, my soul and my energy. .

Today is a great day to do your evaluation of your last 6 month, journal and reflect on what you learned and how you feel want to move forward.

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Life is like waves and spirals we gracefully dance with other souls and energies to evolve.


Muah see you in a couple weeks 💋.


P.S. I will be intentionally disconnecting from social media to take in and reflect on this period of deep lessons.



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